August blog challenge day 6, best friends

Standard

I often get the feeling that most people have at least one if not a small handful of friends who they have known since early childhood. I had some friends like that, knew them since I was at playgroup before I started school. We grew up in the same village. Then I got to middle school and one day it all changed, and I started to get bullied. Nasty, relentless, getting shunned, called names. All the classic bully tactics. And things were never the same again.
It took years for me to regain my confidence in fact at times I wonder whether I am a but reluctant or hesitant with people in case they reel me in then leave me stranded and hurt. But at upper school I met what I would consider to be a lifelong friend, someone who accepted me for who I was, who went through the hideous, intense teenage years with me, and was there to talk about all manner of things. One of those friends who I just know that when we meet up again everything will just ‘click’ and your soul just feels at home.
I realise that since then I only really wanted friendships like that, a deep, close connection with another person. At the same time though, the fear of being turned on still stuck with me, although I now have other friends who I feel that close bond with. Since then I have a range of different friends, some who I have met online and gone on to meet in ‘real’ life, Facebook friends who you tend to meet through shared interests, fellow parents, but there has to be more of a connection than just being a parent. I have many friends with the shared pastime of dancing, genuinely some of the most open, accepting people I have met. I started dancing to prevent myself hitting a low patch, and it worked, and I’ve ended up with as many friends as I want and a great hobby.
Just recently I have been through a run of meeting people who I knew at uni and had not spoken to for years, not for any reason other than our paths had not crossed in the interim. It’s so interesting because you realise, or I realised at least that my perception of myself is a lot harsher than others’ perception of me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s